


Joke Curse

by Centauromachy



Category: The Hollows - Kim Harrison
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3871702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centauromachy/pseuds/Centauromachy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel gets hit with a Joke Curse and it's up to Ivy with a little help from Nina to break it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joke Curse

Joke Curse

\-----Ivy-----  
A few hours before dawn, I break down and summon a demon in our grave yard.   
“Algaliarept, I summon you” 

I was prepared for him to show up as Piscary, Anubis, my Mother even or an undead version of myself, I however was not prepared for him to show up as Rachel looking like a used up Shadow; gaunt, hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, disheveled appearance, wearing a strapless leather bra and hot pants, what's most disturbing though is the bite marks all over her, which I could tell were all mine. She turns and looks at me with those dead eyes and whispers “no Ivy, please don't, I love you, please no more” I start to raise my arm to reach out for her, then there's a little glint in her eye and the slightest of upturn to her lips. I yell   
“STOP THIS ALGALIAREPT! I didn't summon you here to play games.” and with that a sheet of black ever after ripples across her form and he's now in what Rachel calls his English Lord look.

“Ivy Alisha Tamwood, what an unexpected surprise. Have you finally decide to take me up on the offer of a lust potion for you and your Dear Heart” The demon asks using air quotes around Dear Heart chuckling to himself the whole time.

“No” I snarl. The way he sneered when he says 'Dear Heart' makes me want to rip his throat but then I remember what Rachel has said about demons. How one of their tricks is to try and make their summoner so mad or afraid that they'll make a mistake that will allow the demon to break out of the circle.   
The stress of the past week from worrying about Rachel has really stretched my control, so I pause and force myself instincts back under control.

“So what is then that I can do for you, that our little itchy witch can't, or is it won't do for you.” he sneers 

I hate the way he calls Rachel 'Itchy Witch' but I do have to admit its fitting at times. But instead of reacting I take and deep breath and say “There's something wrong with Rachel, ever since she got back from her last training session with YOU. She's been agitated, moody, hardly eating, tossing and turning all night, running a fever. It's been getting worse very day, to the point where she seems to be in some kind of semi-lucid fever dreamstate. My doctor can't seem to find anything wrong with her, medically. So that makes me think it's magical but none of our witch friends can figure out what it is and I can't get a hold of Ceri, that mean I'm stuck with you.”

“Interesting, I can think of hundreds of things it could be based on those symptoms. I can provide you with a list of them of you like and I'll even charge it to our Itchy Witches account.”

“I didn't summon you to get a list of POSSIBLE causes, I summoned you so you can heal her.”

“Well since she is my student, so her well being is of course of great concern to me. But I'll have to examine her to be able to tell precisely what is wrong with her” He states with a special emphasis on examine, which just makes my skin crawl.

“All of data I've collected on her condition over the past week is on the ground in front of you along with a vial of her blood, a swab of her sweat and a urine sample.”

“My, my aren’t you thorough but that is your thing isn't it? Alas however if it's magical I'm going need to examine her up close and personal like.” I start to growl at him but with a snap of his fingers everything I placed on the ground goes up in flames.

“Fine” I state angrily I'd irrationally hoped that he would be willing and able to tell me what was wrong with Rachel without him touching her. As I go over to pick Rachel up from behind a nearby tombstone I say “But all the same rules that apply when Rachel calls you over apply now.”

“But of course love” he says and when I look back at him he taken Kisten's form. I just arch an eyebrow at him, as if to say 'really that's the best you got.' “So I have your word then?”

“Yes, Yes I'll abide by all of rule on Rachel annoying little list.”

And with that agreement I step forward onto unsanctified ground with my Dear Heart cradled in my arms. That one bold move actually seems to startle him for a moment.

“My, my aren't we the bold one.”  
Once again I say nothing just raise an eyebrow to say 'let's get on with this.' He places his hand on Rachel head and I feel his magic through Rachel. 

He turns his goat slitted eyes on me and asks “You felt that?” I just nod “Interesting...” 

"What's wrong with  Rachel" I ask hotly to us back on why I summoned him.

"Oh that, she's been cursed with a very complex joke curse"

"A joke curse?" I ask stupidly realizing to late I'd given him another chance to ramble on. I'm not sure if he's intentionally stalling or if he just likes to hear  himself talk.

*just little things we do to keep ourselves entertained over the millennia  . In Rachel case it seems to be a sexual frustration curse combined quite brilliantly with a light confusion curse and a burst of strength curse." 

"So you can remove them, then?"

"Well" he hedges "it's not that simple no one has ever devised a counter curse for the sexual frustration curse."

"WHAT!?!?!?" I exclaim interrupting him, letting my concern for Rachel get the better of me. Then take another deep breath and remember that you always have to keep a clear head when dealing with demons.

"As I was saying, before I was SO rudely interrupted" he says with a slight grin "the reason no one has created a counter curse is that once the recipient experiences 'La petite mort' as the French like to call it, that breaks the curse."

"Sounds like a pretty lame curse"

"Like I said its a joke curse, emphasis on the joke.” He continues with a wistful smile “It was all the rage during middle ages what with all those convents and monasteries around." He states while chuckling to himself

"And before you ask, part of the curse is they can't take matters into their own hands." He says and winks at me, which makes my stomach churn. 

"In this case" he continues "it's a particular nasty version of the curse, it gets exponentially worse the longer it goes on. Combined with the confusion curse that's why Rachel is in the state she's in."

"So what about this burst of strength curse?" I ask wanting to get as much information as possible.

"That's another great one" He says ecstatically "usually used on sculptors and painters. So when they they're about to put the finishing touches on sculpture and the all of a sudden they hit the chisel five times a hard as they should and voila all that time down the drain. Or with a painter as they're about to put the final brush strokes on it they end up punching through the canvas. Ah good times”

“Bottom line it for me what does this mean for Rachel?”

“Fine if you want to take all the poetry out of it. Until she has an orgasm, her fever will continue to get worse to the point of possible brain damage, she will lose any semblance of conscious thought and will start to strike out violently at her surrounding will increasing strength. Also the orgasm must be achieved by someone with an aura, so no toys. I have an idea why don't I pop Pierce over here to take care of her for you, I just know he'd looove that.” he says with a wicked grin on his face.

“NO” I state will a menacing growl “That won't be necessary.”

“Alrighty then, anything else you want to know before we discuss payment?”

“Yes, did you do this? If not do you know who did?”

“No I did not, it's not in my best interests for our Itchy Witch to end up dead or lobotomized. As for who else might have done it, I have my suspicions and I'll share those with Rachel if she ask.” Not sure why I believe him but I did.

“Now then on to payment.”

“You want my soul? Fine. Just let me take care of Rachel first then I'll be back out here, you have my word.”

“A living souless vampire, hmmm could be interesting but no. Besides that would make my training sessions with our Itchy Witch, lets say uncomfortable.”

“OK so what do you want then?” I ask relived, ever since he started volunteering information without discussing payment Id been worried he wanted my soul and for Rachel I would have given it.

“hmmm, I think I'll pull a Rachel and give you a list of conditions” He states smugly  
“first no knocking her out, she must be conscious or as conscious as she gets right now”  
“second you personally must deliver the coup de grace. I don't care if you bring anyone else along, maybe your little pixie friend.”  
“finally, simply enjoy yourself love” he says in a perfect imitation of Kisten's voice.  
“I going to have so much fun tormenting our little itchy witch with this.”

“whatever” I say and banish him

“Did you get all that Jenks?” 

“Tink's a Disney whore! What are we going to do, Ivy?” He ask worriedly

“I'm going to do what's necessary and you're going to stay out of the church unless we call for you.”

“But..” he starts and I stop him with a glare, this is going to be hard enough without having him hovering around.  
“Just...” he says clearly not sure what to say 'Just be careful'; 'just fix, her'; 'just don't hurt her'; 'just don't hurt yourself'; 'just don't let this tear us all part'; “Yeah, I know” I say softly as I walk back to the church,

I take her into my room and lay her down on my bed. I thought about doing this is her room but the smell of her arousal is still to strong in there from her dreams these last few night. I wish I'd found out what was wrong with her while she was still conscious but she kept insisting she 'was fine' and that there 'was nothing wrong with her'. I knew I should have pushed her on it but Rachel can be so stubborn at times, especially if she thinks it's something that she thinks makes her look weak. And ever since our trip to the west coast our friendship has been strained and I didn’t want to make things worse between us. So I didn't push and how she's laying here so out of it that I can't get her consent for what I must do. Without her consent it seems to much like rape for me to be conformable doing this. Also I'm so terrified that she'll see it that way also and move out. Then I won't be able to protect her anymore and with all the enemies she's made she'll have to be constantly on guard. She'll either have to take Trent up on his offer to disappear her somewhere (which she'll never accept), start fully embracing her demon heritage and slowly loose the brightness in her soul (which would destroy me), she could fully embrace being in a pack with David (but she won't), she WILL continue as she is fighting the good fight without compromising her beliefs which will lead to her making a misstep and get herself killed or worse. I should just go ahead and 'rape' her and then bind her, Rachel can then hate me all she wants but at least she'll be safe. (but I can't)

I never wanted our first time to be like this, I dreamed of it being the perfect expression of our love. Not some quasi-rape to save her life. I remember back when I was her training officer in the IS, I'd catch her staring at me, checking me out sometimes or the heat coming off her when I'd give her a ride on my bike. With that thought everything from our together in our church comes flooding back to me, the first night when I tried to seduce her and ended up pinning her to the couch, the first night she had a wet dream and called out my name and I was up and kneeling beside her bed before I really even woke up, all the times her touch would linger on mine a just a little longer than it should, the first time I tasted her blood up in Mackinaw, the second time in our kitchen when our aura merged (my god that was amazing), when Mia shredded her aura and our simple touch allowed mine to cover her, when she sealed Art and Devin's remains into the tunnels (I've never felt such power) all the times she'd say she loves me but just not that way but I could tell she was lying to herself as much as me, they way she always introduces me first as her partner but then tries to explain it away as just her friend or business partner.

I don't really blame Rachel for her refusal to admit that she does love me 'that way.' It'd be one more thing in her life that wasn't what she thought it was, first she learns she was genetically modified to survive rosewood syndrome, next she learned that said genetic modification turn her into a genetic demon and that the whole witch race where are stunted demons. To top it off she learns that the man who raised her wasn't her biological father, that her mother's 'illness' wasn't really caused just by missing her husband but by the secret of children s parentage. To top it all off her father wasn't even a witch but a human. The girl had every right to try and hold onto whatever she can to help think that her whole life hasn't been a lie.  Then you throw in the fact that she experienced so much loss in her life, make friends at hospitals and camps only to lose them to illness or wellness as they got better and she didn't, the loss of her father, then her brother leaving and her mother going off into her own world most of the time. She joined the IS to be like he father but he was secretly working for Kalimack Sr. Once she finally gets out on her own she becomes the joke of the office with so many dropped tags and misfired spells she should have been demoted to uniform service. Turns out all that was because Denon was sabotaging her most likely on Piscary orders. All she wanted out of life was to join the IS, take down the bad guys find some guy to settle down with and pop out couple of kids. My secret dream as a kid was find a way to escape Piscary while keeping my family safe and together.

There came a soft knock on my door and a tentative "Ivy?" I look up and see Nina in my doorway "Jenks, called me he said you found out how to help Rachel."  it's then I realized I somehow ended up sitting on bed with Rachel head in lap slowly stroking her beautiful hair, while tears silently run down my cheeks. For I don't know how longs a couple hours at least.  
"That's good news right?" She asks tentatively? I just nod  
"Then why are you crying? She softly asks   
"Because I'm scared that whatever happens, I'm going to lose her completely." I whimper and lay it all out for her 'so I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.' I think

“I'll do it for you” Nina says after a few moments and I just stare at her in open mouthed shock   
“Rachel can hate ME afterwards if she needs to but I know it will destroy you if she dies. Let me do this for you, Ivy.” I just nod weakly. 

“ok but with this bursts of strength thing. I should probably restrain her.” Nina says demurely. 

Between Nina being here and her offer to take care of the “problem'. It gave me the seconds I needed to pull myself out of the downward I was in and focus on the task at hand.

“No” I state solidly “She's a witch Nina, she can blast you across the room without the use of her arms or legs and I'm not going to put a zip-strip on her. I'll hold her down and talk to her, she's calm when I talk to her.”

So I laid down on my bed and carefully position Rachel on top of me. Her back to my front trying to make this as unintimate as possible. I gently fold her arms across her stomach, wrap my legs around hers, put one arm around her waist pinning her arms there and with my free arm I lovingly stroke her hair. I nod to Nina, she climb on my bed, gives Rachel a soft kiss on her forehead and whispers so softly that Rachel probably couldn't hear her “we have no choice, I hope you'll realize that.” 

As if that was a cue Rachel starts to become agitated again, I just shush her and start whispering in her ear that “it's all going to be ok”, that “I'm here”, that “I won't let anything bad happened to you” 

Nina then settles down between our legs, pushes Rachel's camisole up until she reaches the arm I'm holding Rachel down with, gives it a little squeeze as if to say 'everything is going to be all right.' She slowly starts to rub her hand gently across Rachel's taunt stomach, just to let her know she's there so it hopefully wont be a huge shock when starts to work. With a sheepish grin she carefully pushes the crotch of Rachel's thoroughly soaked panties to the side with one hand and then delicately slides one finger into Rachel's dripping womanhood.

With that Rachel lets out a long moan of pleasure and starts to writhe as hold her in place on top of me

As if drawn by my stares she looks up, captures my eyes with hers and holds my gaze as her continues her task of bringing Rachel to her release. Between Rachel moaning in pleasure, writhing on top of me as I hold her in place, the three of our scents mixing and the way my lover holds my gaze as she oh so carefully works to bring about the orgasm that this woman who is my dear heart needs. This is quickly spiraling from I realize now was a foolish hope to try and keep this clinical, to one of the most erotic experiences of my life! 

“mmmm yes so good, Ivyy” Rachel says and just like that I feel as if a bucket of ice water has been poured over me. Even though its the most coherent thing she's said in over 36 hours, instead of being excited that maybe the curse is breaking, I'm absolutely struck dumb with terror!! 

How can this be happening?? Even though I know a part of me would always be in love with Rachel, she can't get over her own insecurities about what 'loving me that way' might mean. So now I'd finally started to be try and create something that I think could last with Nina, this happens?!?!? Even though Nina knows part of me would always love Rachel. But for Rachel to call out MY name in the throws of her unconscious ecstasy?!?! I look down at Nina and she's still staring right up at me but gives me a little reassuring grin. As if to say 'Nothing I didn't know already'. She then slowly reaches up with her free hand and with great gentleness pulls the arm I've been holding Rachel with down to her waiting womanhood. I'm still in shock over Rachel calling out my name, that I don't even resist. She then proceeds to delicately pull her other hand out of Rachel and carefully guides my first two fingers in to take over her careful ministrations.

With a wink she breaks eye contact with me, leaving me to finish Rachel off, while she starts planting soft kisses on the inside of Rachel's beautiful thighs, along her taut stomach and her naval. All the while now allowing her hands free roam along Rachel's luscious legs, over her tight stomach and up to her pert breasts. At which point Rachel lets out a soft low moan

“Ohhh yess mmm!!!”

I continue to use all the skills I've learned over the years, instinctively knowing that this needs to be a nice slow measured buildup and not a quick and dirty rush to the finish line.

aaaaahhoooh gaaaawd, yesssss! Don't stop! Iv-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y! Rachel screams as the orgasm finally takes her. It seems like every muscle in her body constricts at once, she collapses back on the bad completely spent, she even passes out for a few moments. I carefully pull my fingers out of her womanhood and I just kind of stare at them not really sure what to do should do with them? whip them off my sheets? go the bathroom and wash them? it all seems so impersonal. Just I was about to grab some tissues form my nightstand, Nina wonderful wonderful Nina comes to my rescue once again tonight. She causally reaches out and pulls my hand to her mouth and seductively sucked and licked my fingers clean while giving me a cheeky grin. I just stare blankly at her a moment, then just shack my head at her and she give me a little wink.

I look down at Rachel's slumbering form and she looks so peacefully and relaxed laying there in my bed. But I know this isn't real, that Rachel hasn't really finally accepted her feeling for me. So I slowing extricate myself from beneath her and get out of bed. Nina has follow suit, so I walker over and embrace her with a fierce passion, I couldn't have done this without her, after breaking the kiss I placing my mouth right next to her ear I whisper in in a voice so low only another vamp could her “Thank you so much!” and she replies in a teasing whisper 'It was my pleasure”. I hold her out at arms length and try to give her a disapproving scowl but my heart just isn't in it. 

Now that it over I realize Nina and I had somehow silently agreed to not to talk once we got started. This wonderful woman who knows a large part of me will always love Rachel has helped me save her life. 

I lean down to pick Rachel up with then intent to carry her back to her own bed when she stirs with a drowsy “mmm stay here” I sigh and try again “Dearheart, I'm simply trying to get you tucked back into your own bed. I'll still be here but we both need some sleep.” “mmm dis more comfy” she states dreamily, I look to Nina for help and she just shrugs her shoulders as if to say 'what can you do?' and she stealthily slips out of my room. Coward I think but no that's not true, she knows I'd rather not have to explain to Rachel about her contributions right now. 

“fine” I sigh resignedly “I can crash on the couch” not really wanting to make a big deal out of it right now.  
“stay?” she asks shyly  
“That's not a good idea.”  
“why?”  
“you know why”   
“yawn at least until I fall asleep?”  
“alright I can do that” I say as I reach down, pull the covers up over her, sit down next to her and start slightly stroking her hair again. With that simple action, she becomes even more relaxed if that's even possible. But just before she finally drift off to sleep  
“Nina?” Rachel calls out sleepily. She knows Nina is here??? oh FUCK!!! I would have sworn her eyes were closed the whole time!!  
“Yes?” Nina replies calmly as she steps back into my room  
“Thanks”  
“Your welcome, sweetie” she replies with a impish grin  
I can see a slight smile cross Rachel's beautiful face at the appellation   
“mmm... you're 'yawn' coming over for dinner … tomorrow ... right?”  
“I'd love too” she said after a slight pause  
“mmm good... cause I'm gonna make somtem special for us.” Rachel replied, half-asleep   
“I guess I'll see you tomorrow then”  
“mmm k ...bye Nina”  
“Bye sweetie”  
I just stared Nina for for a moment, thinking 'what the hell?!? I thought these two hated each other?'   
But she just said “call me later and let me know how she's doing”  
“I will” I reply much steadier than I felt   
A few moments later I heard the front door close. A short time later I heard Rachel's soft snoring.


End file.
